Category: love

A Cross for a Crown

As Christians, we must re-discover our identity with The Cross!

Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.
— John 12:24

We are living in trying times. The world seems to have lost its way, and so many of us feel powerless to correct its course. We begin each day wondering what happened to the world we once knew, and some are fearful of the future. But it’s very possible that Our Lord has allowed this opportunity in history as a reminder for us that this world is passing away (1 John 2:17). Perhaps now is a perfect time to step back from material things and remember that there is something more for which we were made. As Christians, our allegiance is not to this world, but to God alone, through His Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So what should we do? Perhaps we should take this time to return to our roots, examining what it means to be a Christian in the world today.

What does it mean to be a Christian? What does it mean to follow Christ? Two thousand years ago, it meant a complete transformation of one’s heart, mind, and soul. It often meant a willingness to endure torture and death. It meant knowing the promise of an eternal life that was infinitely more valuable than the world in which we live. That promise provided Christians with a purpose that transcended the pleasures of this life. For early Christians, the Cross was part of their identity, and they didn’t shy away from it. Rather, they passionately pursued their mission, whatever the cost.

What was that mission? It was to bring the Gospel to every man, woman and child, opening hearts to God’s grace, that He might draw every soul to Himself. Christians recognized that this mission required a life of sacrifice; a denial of “self.” It meant cooperating with the Master Gardener as He pruned and formed them, ridding their hearts and souls of all that might obscure Him from view. For they knew that in order to accomplish their mission, they must be able to say with St. Paul, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Gal. 2:20).

Today, this mission remains the same. Sadly, there is little evidence in the world of the Christianity of old. Our secular culture celebrates the temporal over the spiritual, and many of us have been seduced by the daily demands and attractions of the here and now. As a result, many have drifted from the passion- ate Christianity of earlier times. In fact, in recent generations, Christianity has even developed a reputation in the West for soft sentimentalism. Christ has been reduced to tender emotion and unconditional love, wrapped up in a nonjudgmental blanket of relativism. This is what Archbishop Fulton Sheen referred to as Christ without His Cross. Many Christians no longer strive to engage in lives of prayer and sacrifice in order to carry out the Great Commission — and most aren’t even aware of what has been lost. Rather than seeking to reunite Christ with His Cross, they have destroyed the Cross altogether and used the scraps to build a sort of progressive humanitarian religion based on materialism and self-entitlement.

This development should cause grave concern for those of us who truly desire to follow Christ, for how can one follow in His footsteps if the Way has been obscured by generations of distortions and misrepresentations?

It seems the only solution to this problem is to return to Christ’s words and find out what He actually said to His would-be follow- ers. We owe it to ourselves and to Him to consider His call as He made it, unblemished by the mores of the culture:

If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? (Matt. 16:24–26)

The question is, how do we go about doing this? What does denying myself look like? How exactly must I carry my cross?

Not only are we to deny ourselves and take up our crosses, but we are to follow Christ in the process. And although we might be tempted to assume we are following Him through the pearly gates to an eternal Paradise with the Father, many of us have somehow been indoctrinated to overlook a major stop along the way.

Before He leads us to Paradise, Christ leads us to Calvary.

Like Christ, we are called to carry the cross and to be crucified. Of course, we can ask the Simons in our lives to help us make our way along the path, and we may certainly help them as well. But at the end of our fated journey, whether that journey is a moment of consideration for someone else or a lifetime of pain and suffering, each of us will be asked to climb right up there alongside Christ and sacrifice our very lives. By this I don’t necessarily mean that we are called to be martyrs, offering our blood as a testament of our allegiance to Christ — although, for some of us, that call may come — but rather that we offer ourselves as “bloodless” martyrs, ready to release our attachments, our desires, our preferences, our idiosyncrasies, our very wills, in deference to the will of God. Essentially, we are called to die to ourselves.

And if we don’t? Say we decide to climb down from the hill of Calvary and save our lives — that is, hold on to our attach- ments; prioritize our wants, desires, and preferences; and put ourselves first? Well, according to Christ, in saving my own life, I will surely lose it. But — and here’s the clincher — if I climb up on that cross, enduring to the end, all in effort to lose my life for Christ’s sake; if I unite my will to the will of God, denying myself by offering myself; in that case, I am bound to find my life — and no doubt I will have it abundantly (John 10:10).

There is no greater paradox in all the world than the paradox of the Cross.

Yes, sacrifice is hard.

But our souls were made for sacrifice. And deep down in the farthest corners of our hearts, in places that we keep hidden even from ourselves, we know that this is true.

Sadly, generations of comfort and excess and expectations have weakened our wills. In fact, there are many who argue for the need to scrap the concept of willpower altogether. We have grown soft. We have lost our way in a world of materialism and self-determination. We have slipped from the cross, even deny- ing Christ, in order to avoid that call that speaks directly to the depths of our hearts.

So how can we find our way back to the cross? How can we reconnect to the root of our very souls? How can we find that part of us that absolutely knows we were made for love? For sacrifice? We may be moved by the contributions made to the world by our fellow man, and inspired by all the saints who’ve gone before us; but how can we bring ourselves to participate in the type of life for which we were made? How can we find the joy that is wait- ing for us?

Whatever your experience with the cross, whether you struggle with a painful and debilitating illness or with finding joy in the little interruptions in life, it is my prayer that through these pages you might reclaim the lost art of sacrifice.

Note: Above is an excerpt from the Introduction to my new book, The Lost Art of Sacrifice. I hope you will read it and spread the word! Let’s re-discover our identity with the Cross!

Guerrilla Marketing & Christian Compliance

There is no love without sacrifice. But in a political system, sacrifice without love becomes a distorted perversion of the sacred, used by the few to control the many. We may not promote the common good to the detriment of human dignity.


“The path to happiness was self-sacrifice and suppression of the individual for the good of the collective.”— Barbara Demick in her book, Nothing to Envy, speaking to the propaganda of North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-il

A few years ago I read a book called Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick, a journalist who chronicled in minute detail the day-to-day lives of six North Korean citizens who eventually escaped communism and defected to find freedom in South Korea. It wasn’t so much the challenging lives these characters led that caught my eye — although they did — but rather the never-ending state-led propaganda (i.e. Marketing) that accosted North Korean citizens on a daily basis.

North Koreans have no access to outside media. They enjoy only state-run media, state-run entertainment and state-run news. Subjects in this book commented about how controlled was the narrative on any given subject, and through any given medium. North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-il, believed that movies, for example, were critical for instilling loyalty to his regime. He believed that “revolutionary art and literature are extremely effective means for inspiring people to work for the tasks of the revolution.” Under his direction, film was used to that end. Demick explains that movie themes always ran along the following lines: “The path to happiness was self-sacrifice and suppression of the individual for the good of the collective.” In communist North Korea, pretty much every message from every outlet served to promote this message. Whatever the medium, the regime sought always to increase love for Kim and allegiance to whatever the state determined was in the interest of “the common good.” 

Enter the United States, 2020-2021. 

What we’ve been watching in the United States over the past year can be likened to tactics used in North Korea. Those in the marketing business call it Guerrilla Marketing. Yes, the term is derived from Guerrilla Warfare. When you think Guerrilla Marketing, think ambush, attack, sabotage, only think in terms of ad campaigns. Often guerrilla marketing campaigns use a variety of techniques to attract attention and action, “attacking” the would-be consumer from all angles, and employing most often an attempt to connect emotionally with clients, a tactic which exponentially increases the likelihood of buy-in or acceptance. When marketing shuts down debate and is completely one-sided, at times even misleading, it is called propaganda. When you combine guerrilla marketing with propaganda, you have a dangerous, if effective, combination. 

Mask Matters

If you paid any attention to the promotion of masks, you noticed guerrilla marketing style tactics used again and again. Mask mania was everywhere (and it continues). It seemed all of Hollywood joined the bandwagon to encourage the wearing of masks, from Wonder Woman to Harry Potter, from Kathryn Bigelow to Morgan Freeman and Paul Rudd. Matthew McConaughey even made a PSA about how to make your own mask in a pinch. In addition to PSAs, there were signs everywhere. Posters in stores, ads on social media, billboards — even digital billboards — shouting boldly above our nation’s highways.  With the cooperation of virtually every available outlet as well as industry and government, this was guerrilla marketing at its finest. 

Please note that not one of these ads provided “science” to help educate the public. They may have used the words, “Listen to the Science,” but not one of them provided any data for us to examine. There was nothing for us to consider, to evaluate. No reason to engage our “reason.” Instead, each and every one of these ads sought an emotional response. Each pointed to a “responsibility” toward our fellow man. Some were inspirational, some were guilt-ridden, and some even employed bullying techniques intended to isolate those who may have been tempted to opt out.

One of the most blatant bullying offenders was CNNs, This is a Mask PSA. While showing dozens of masks in all shapes, sizes and colors, the ad had only one line:

“ A mask can say a lot about the person who wears it; but even more about the person who doesn’t.” 

– CNN’s PSA: This is a Mask

The last mask featured in the ad, just before the narrator ends this sentence, says “Greater Good.” 

 Not surprisingly, the pressure worked. According to a National Geographic survey, by October 2020, 92% of people surveyed said they wore a mask when leaving home. Never mind that cases went up shortly after that survey. Never mind that states that did not mandate masks appear to have lower transmission rates than those who went all-out on mandates. Never mind that until last year, every study ever done regarding masks and respiratory spread found no evidence that masks actually stopped transmission. Never mind a recent study in China that followed 300 people who were Covid-positive but asymptomatic and found that of the more than 1100 people they contact-traced through these cases, not one of them ended up testing positive though that contact. The bottom line is that the science is not final regarding masks. In fact, if actual studies (as opposed to anecdotal stories) lean in any direction at all, it is against their effectiveness.

But no matter. The marketing was never about facts. It was all about emotion. It was about self-sacrifice. It was about social responsibility.

Vaccine Valor

In case you haven’t noticed, the same type of campaign is now in full swing for the Covid-19 vaccine. Again. No science. No facts. Just emotion. And this time, they’ve added incentives.

State and local governments are pushing, military is promoting,  news outlets are advocating. Health care workers have produced entertaining PSAs, celebrities like Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton have written songs they hope will sway us. Other celebrities have been posing for pictures as they receive their vaccines – and then posting them all over social media. All four living ex-presidents participated in a PSA promoting the vaccine. There is also a giant collaborative campaign between corporations, media companies and faith communities to “educate” people about the vaccine. (Note their campaign is called “It’s up to You,” clearly implying that the future hangs in the balance unless we get the vaccine.) Priests and preachers from coast to coast are “preaching the gospel of the Covid-19 vaccine.” Even Pope Francis has suggested that people have a “moral obligation” to take it.  In an interview, he stated, “It’s a moral choice because it is about your life but also the lives of others.” 

And if all the ads and the social pressure don’t work, there are other campaigns to reward us with perks, if only we’ll be “good” citizens. And on the flip-side, they’re willing to punish us if we won’t (think China’s appalling, ‘social credit score”).

Again – science? There’s no need for science when you have the government, every media outlet and the entertainment industry all promoting your product. Unlike those of other vaccines, this promotion has dispensed with the idea of a rational, thought-provoking discussion between me and my doctor about pros and cons of the vaccine and risk vs. reward for my family. This is more akin to Nike’s Just Do It campaign.

Everywhere we look, they are playing on our emotions. And now, we have — as we did with the masks —  a PR campaign telling us that our getting the vaccine is a sacrifice that we should be willing to make for the common good. Don’t ask how a medication that is injected into MY body is going to help you. Don’t ask why my getting the vaccine should matter if you have it and are protected.

Just don’t ask questions. It’s not about facts. It’s about emotion. It’s about our being willing to sacrifice for “the common good.” 

The Cross Without Christ – Recipe for Disaster

All this pressure to self-sacrifice? It sounds great. Really it does. Especially if you don’t listen too closely. If you don’t analyze. But in fact, these campaigns are very deceptive. 

This obligation to our fellow man is very similar to what they promote in North Korea (and China, and Cuba and Venezuela, etc.). But sadly, when Christianity becomes all about humanitarianism, it ceases to be about the salvation of souls. There is grave danger in that idea. It is a danger that seeks to separate God from the equation by dispensing with the spiritual in favor of the material. This is what Archbishop Fulton Sheen called A Cross Without Christ. 

A pursuit of the “common good” is something the Catholic Church has always promoted. But these words have become twisted in the public square. They have been used as a tool for manipulation, so much so that the words have become a lie that serves to distract Christians from what is most important. This lie feeds on our compassionate nature, our ordained call to serve, to love our neighbor, and to ensure that justice is accomplished for those most in need. But in fact, to the extent that this pressure to comply is forcefully applied, it can undermine our compassion, inhibit our service, remove the natural relationship we have with our neighbor and destroy the very outcome of justice it professes to serve. 

Christ gave us two great Commandments. The First is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind…and a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). Our love for neighbor stems directly from our love for God. It should speak always to the dignity of every human person. Love of neighbor should recognize that each soul is made in the image and likeness of God, equipped with both reason and free will. These are two characteristics that separate us from animals. And yet we are being asked to set both aside, to pay homage to the Gospel of Covid-19. 

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church,


God created man a rational being, conferring on him the dignity of a person who can initiate and control his own actions. “God willed that man should be ‘left in the hand of his own counsel,’ so that he might, of his own accord, seek his Creator and freely attain his full and blessed perfection by cleaving to Him. (GS 17; Sir 15:14).” (CCC 1730)

In Life of Christ, Archbishop Sheen addresses the danger inherent in any approach that neglects those important truths:


Communism has chosen the Cross in the sense that it has brought back to an egotistic world a sense of discipline, self-abnegation, surrender, hard work, study, and dedication to supra-individual goals. But the Cross without Christ is a sacrifice without love. Hence, Communism has produced a society that is authoritarian, cruel, oppressive of human freedom, filled with concentration camps, firing squads, and brain-washings. — Life of Christ, p. xxv.

Cleaving to God is the path whereby we can obtain the grace that allows us to love enough to sacrifice our own wants, our own needs, our own desires for the good of another. 

There is no love without sacrifice. But in a political system, sacrifice without love becomes a distorted perversion of the sacred, used by the few to control the many. As Christians, we may not promote the common good to the detriment of human dignity.

This flagrant and no-holds-barred use of guerrilla marketing and manipulation to pressure us to act is an affront to our dignity as human persons. The social pressure to conform is akin to campaigns history has shown to cause the most dangerous form of division and isolation. This kind of pressure should be intolerable to all. If vaccines and masks are for the betterment of society, open the gates to allow a fruitful and meaningful discussion. One that celebrates actual science, bans propaganda and respects the need for each and every one of us to resort to both our God-given ability to reason and to our own free will in order to make appropriate decisions regarding our health and the health of our families. 

(Thanks for reading my post! If you liked it, please check out my new book, The Lost Art of Sacrifice, published by Sophia Institute Press!)

Exciting News!

My new book just came out!!! And it’s all about Sacrifice!!

My new book just came out!!! And it’s all about Sacrifice!!!

Not a moment too soon, either, for we are living in trying times. The world seems to have lost its way, and many of us feel powerless to correct its course. We begin each day wondering what happened to the world we once knew, and some are fearful of the future. But it’s very possible that Our Lord has allowed this opportunity in history as a reminder for us that this world is passing away. (1 John 2:17)

Now is a perfect time to step back from material things and remember that there is something more for which we were made. As Christians, our allegiance is not to this world, but to God alone, through His Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So what should we do? Perhaps we should take this time to return to our roots, examining what it means to be a Christian in the world today.

It would seem that anyone who truly desires to follow Christ, should return to His words and find out what He actually said to His would-be followers. We owe it to ourselves and to Him to consider His call as He made it, unblemished by the mores of the culture:

“If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man, if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life?

(Matthew 16:24-26).

Surely Christ’s words are challenging. I don’t know about you, but if given the opportunity, my natural inclination is to avoid the cross like the plague. I’d rather walk around it, step over it, crawl under it or run from it – anything but embrace it.

Yet these were the words of Christ to his disciples. These are His living words to us. Today. The question is, how do we go about doing this? What does denying myself look like? How exactly must I carry my cross? That is the subject of my latest book — The essence of what it means to be a Christian. Essentially, it means sacrifice.

In The Lost Art of Sacrifice, you will learn

  • The difference between suffering and sacrifice.
  • Why life is not measured by what you get – it’s about what you give.
  • The reason God prepared your soul for sacrificial love.
  • How to avoid Satan’s traps by recognizing lies of the culture that are sure to lead you astray.
  • Why sacrifice is not something that happens to you but is an act of the will.
  • How to cultivate the Art of Sacrifice in your life.

Find your copy now at most booksellers near you or online! Click on the book below to order at a discount directly from the publisher, Sophia Institute Press:

The Family and The Mystical Body of Christ

Some days I feel like the entire day is spent encouraging, lecturing, threatening, and punishing kids into applying the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you…When you think about it, families can be composed of individuals who would never choose to live in the same hemisphere, much less in the same home!

I struggle as a Mom. Some days I feel like the entire day is spent encouraging, lecturing, threatening, and punishing kids into applying the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Knowing my goal is not tyrannical subjugation, but rather a “disposition of reciprocal openness and autonomy together,” I’ve tried every analogy under the sun. The one I use most frequently is that as a family, we are all part of the same team (our younger kids have been around team sports a lot more than they’ve studied anatomy). As a team, we celebrate each other’s victories, because, well, they are victories for all of us. And we mourn each other’s losses because, well, they are our losses too. And most importantly, we build up, we do not tear down. When we build one another up, we are building up the entire team. When we tear down, we are harming the entire team (i.e. the family).

At times, this is easier said than done, given the wide variety of personalities in our home. But apparently, our home is not alone in this struggle. G.K. Chesterton once said,

“The best way that a man could test his readiness to encounter the common variety of mankind would be to climb down a chimney into any house at random, and get on as well as possible with the people inside. And that is essentially what each of us did on the day that he was born.

This is, indeed, the sublime and special romance of the family. It is romantic because it is a toss-up.” – Brave New Family, p. 43

Of course that’s true. For when you think about it, families can be composed of individuals who would never choose to live in the same hemisphere, much less in the same home! In The Birth Order Book, Kevin Leman says that if a family is a tree, the children are the branches – and of course, branches grow in all different directions. In fact, Leman says,

“One of the best predictions in life is that whatever the firstborn in a family is, the second born in the family will go in a different (and oftentimes opposite) direction.”

What better soil for the organic development of a healthy and robust Body of Christ? For growing in consideration, patience and selfless love?

Of course, if our family is any indication, sometimes I don’t have much hope for the rest of world. In those moments I’m mediating until my tongue is in knots, or separating a couple of rowdy kids because I fear the damage resulting from being together will out-do the damage caused by being apart. In those moments, I question God’s grand plan for the sanctity of the world. In those moments I would give anything just to walk away from the awesome responsibility of raising saints.

But there are others. There are moments — thankfully, many moments —  that give me hope. Those moments can only be described as sacred portrayals of God’s Holy Will for all of mankind. When one notices a slight, and goes out of her way to offer comfort and support. When another takes his siblings out for dessert in a restaurant, just because. When one repents harmful behavior and seeks forgiveness; but even more, reconciliation, and there is mercy and acceptance and…love. When they help each other with schoolwork, do a chore without being asked. Write a note. Draw a picture. Say a prayer for a family member. These are moments that offer hope for the future. There are moments of heaven in family life – when all the struggles, sacrifices and suffering have their reward.

Even more importantly, in those moments, our family is a family. It is in those moments what God intended it to be. We are one body, united in the Holy Spirit, pouring ourselves out for one another in love.

If we can become one body within the confines of our own homes, beginning in the confines of our own hearts, than there is hope that we can be one unified body in our communities, in our states, in our country, and throughout the world. And that hope is necessary. Because when I watch the news, read the paper or browse through social media, I see a diseased body, contorted and vulgar in disparagement and hatred, inflicting violence against herself. There is no discourse. There are only cancerous walls full of anger and hatred and inexplicable disdain.

I cannot change the world. I cannot heal the Body of Christ. But I can pour my heart and soul into our own little domestic church, calling upon the Holy Spirit to strengthen the cells of this microcosm of Christ’s Body within our home. By God’s grace, perhaps one day our children might be sent out into the greater Body of Christ, full of strength, probiotic in nature, resilient and immune to the cancers of hate and selfishness.  I can keep grasping at those little moments of hope I am privileged to witness every now and then, as my husband and I do our best to infuse our home with the love of Christ, knowing that the infusion is our path to sanctity. Over time, we are bound to witness an increase in the  reciprocal openness and autonomy together, that simultaneous intimacy and dignity which comes from the Holy Ghost. 

In the end, whatever struggles we endure and whatever sacrifice is necessary, we must persevere. For the family is the only hope for the world, particularly as it applies to the mystical body.  As Saint John Paul II said in a 1986 homily,

The family is the “first and vital cell of society”. In its own way it is a living image and historical representation of the mystery of the Church. The future of the world and of the Church, therefore, passes through the family.

 

Note: If you like what you just read, please share and/or comment below. Also, please “Follow” to receive future posts promoting the virtue of sacrifice. 

 

 

 

Art: The Happy Family by Jean Honoré Fragonard, c. 1775

 

The Sorrows of Motherhood

In this, the month devoted to the Seven Sorrows of Mary, it seemed fitting to examine the sorrows inherent in motherhood. Let’s begin with a quote by Saint Pope John XXIII in his Journal of a Soul. It is a little long, but hang on – I think you’ll find his message to be profound: 

During this retreat, the Lord has been pleased to show me yet again all the importance for me, and for the success of my priestly ministry, of the spirit of sacrifice, which I desire shall from now on evermore inspire my conduct ‘as a servant and prisoner of Jesus Christ.’ And also I want all  the undertakings in which I shall take part during this present year to be done in this spirit, in so far as I have a share in them; all are to be done for the Lord and in the Lord: plenty of enthusiasm but no anxiety about their greater success. I will do them as if everything depended on me but as if I myself counted for nothing, without the slightest attachment to them, ready to destroy or abandon them at a sign from those to whom I owe a obedience.

O blessed Jesus, what I am proposing to do is hard and I feel weak, because I am full of self love, but the will is there and comes from my heart. Help me! Help me!

The keen sense of my own nothingness must ripen and perfect in me the spirit of kindness, great kindness, making me patient and forbearing with others in the way I judge and treat them. Although I am only just 30 years old, I begin to feel some wear and tear on the nerves. This will not do. When I feel irritable I must think of my own worthlessness and of my duty to understand and sympathize with everyone, without passing harsh judgments. This will help me to keep calm.

The work I am doing now requires great delicacy and prudence as it frequently means dealing with women. I intend therefore that my behavior shall always be kind, modest and dignified so as to divert attention from my own person and give a richer spiritual quality to my work. Past experience is an encouragement for the future. Here again, if I think poorly of myself and distrust my own powers and raise my thoughts constantly to Jesus, returning to his embrace as soon as I have ended my task, it will be a great protection. It would be dangerous if in this work I were to presume on my own powers for a single moment. – Journal of a Soul, page 179 – 180.

If we changed PRIEST to MOTHER and 30 years to _____ years old, John XXIII could have been reading about the vocation of motherhood. Allow me to walk you through the passage.

The Lord has been pleased to show me yet again all the importance for me and for the success of my [motherly] ministry, of the spirit of sacrifice, which I desire shall from now on evermore inspire my conduct ‘as a servant and prisoner of Jesus Christ.’ The joys of motherhood are often discussed. But the difficulties, not so much. Perhaps you’ve never thought about it, but motherhood is actually a cross. Despite all its joys, there is a very painful aspect to our vocation. Whether concerned about a child’s character, sufferings, future decisions, safety or any number of other issues, our hearts can become overwhelmed with a love so powerful that it would be better expressed as excruciating sorrow. At times, the responsibility of a mother to lead her children to heaven is too daunting to comprehend.

Until recently, I never paid much attention to the Seven sorrows of Mary, but I’ve been reading about them lately. Mary was such a powerful example of Paul’s instruction in Roman’s 12:1, “… Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Each day we must we willing to crawl back up on that altar, regardless of the cost. It can be a challenge, but we must continue to persevere in faith.

And also… all the undertakings… are to be done for the Lord and in the Lord:  Plenty of enthusiasm but no anxiety about their greater success. I will do them as if everything depended on me but as if I myself counted for nothing…  This is the greatest challenge of all. We all know of parents who have done their best to raise their children to become saints, praying and sacrificing daily for them; but their children still left the faith, lived in sin, and tormented their parents with their decisions. This is devastating to witness and causes considerable anxiety for countless mothers who, in general, would claim to be devout in their Faith. Is it possible that we’ve learned to trust God with everything but the salvation of our children? More than anything, we must let go of our own pride and know that whatever happens, Ours is a God who answers prayer, and that He will lead our children Home.

O blessed Jesus, what I am proposing to do is hard and I feel weak, because I am full of self-love, but the will is there and comes from the heart. Help me! Help me! We can only carry on from day-to-day by the sheer grace of God, because when we presume to act on our own, it is disastrous, as noted by Pope John XXIII. 

Most of us would like to say that the keen sense of my own nothingness [has ripened] and [perfected] in me the spirit of kindness, great kindness, making me patient and forbearing with others in the way I judge and treat them, but if you’re anything like me, more often than not it only causes you to question everything you do as a mother. Like many parents, my husband and I have some children who, although they are certainly not perfect, tend to be kind, gentle, patient, compassionate, diligent and full of faith. And we have others who, while good at heart, insist on rocking the boat and questioning virtually everything we say. Because of the friction that parent/child relationships inevitably bring from time to time, I’ve taken to frequently questioning myself. Have I not been kind enough? Strict enough? Loving enough? Available enough? Am I too matter of fact? Or too wishy-washy? Am I to harsh? Or to meek? Sadly, while we often turn to The Lord in desperation, in reality, we tend to lean too hard on our own understanding. Why else would we be so unsure of ourselves? Trust more than anything will result in a foundation of peace that enables patience and kindness to bloom.

The work I am doing now requires great delicacy and prudence as it frequently means dealing with [children]. I intend therefore that my behavior shall always be kind, modest and dignified so as to divert attention from my own person and give a richer spiritual quality to my work. Recently I read the biography of Saint Monica, who suffered for many years as she begged God to lead her son back to Him. I found Monica’s story one that offers much in the way of hope and perspective. Unfortunately, most of us are not living saints. When dealing with our children, too often kindness and dignity go out the window when everyone needs mom and the chores all need to be done. There is a solution. We must take time out to strengthen our relationship with God. We must, must, MUST pursue holiness for ourselves. That intimate relationship with Our Lord will establish a profoundly spiritual dimension to our vocation and will enable us to approach our children with the delicacy and prudence necessary for long term success.

Here again, if I think poorly of myself and distrust my own powers and raise my thoughts constantly to Jesus, returning to his embrace as soon as I have ended my task, it will be a great protection. When my oldest was five years old, I remember sobbing through a rosary, begging Mary to lead my children to her son in spite of me. Being aware of our lack of power is usually not the problem; hopefully that knowledge helps us to spend more time on our knees. All failings aside, we must remember that it is by God’s grace alone that our children will grow to know love and serve Him, and it must be our daily prayer that, like Saint Joseph, one day in the not-so-distant future each and every one of them will die in the arms of Jesus and Mary.

Obedience – Loving Oblation or Outmoded Virtue from a Bygone Era?

To a mother, obedience has to be the most lovely concept in the world.  

You can have all the beautifully made breakfasts-in-bed, the meticulously prepared artwork that that says, “I love Mom,” in every conceivable medium from crayons to macaroni; you can have all the dedicated essays, all the sincere apologies offered after the fact; you can even have all the hugs and kisses (OK, maybe that’s taking it a little too far).

But on any given day, show me six children (nix that – just show me three teenagers) who, when asked to do something – anything – will each stand up and do it the first time out of love and respect for their mother, without being asked twice, and without a question, excuse or argument as to why x, y or z cannot or should not be done – or even why it has not yet been done – by said child.  

Throw in a Yes Ma’am (or two, or three), and my joy will flow to the ends of the earth. 

But I wonder, do you think God feels that way sometimes? About US?  

Does He look down on me as I kneel in my room beneath the prayer table/dresser, complete with the beautiful Immaculate and Sacred Heart pictures, candle and rosary case and think, “Yeah, yeah, yeah – I see all your efforts and I really appreciate them; I do –  the altars dedicated in My name, the sacrifices offered for love of me, all the prayers and the this and the that – but you know, if you would just OBEY me once, without question, argument or excuse, then maybe we would get somewhere!!!”  

Or, when I do obey does he shake his head and think, “Just once could you obey because you LOVE Me and not because you’re afraid of what I might do to you if you don’t?!”

No doubt that thought goes through His head a lot when He looks down on me from heaven. Most likely while I’m busy patting myself on the back for doing good!

St. Peter of Alcantara once said, Obedience is the most grateful oblation to God, wherein man offers himself for a sacrifice.

I have to be honest.  When I first read this quote, I took issue with the notion that obedience is a sacrifice. I thought maybe St. Peter had something wrong. Because personally, I’ve always been pretty good at the obedience part.  But I’m terrible at sacrifice.  Naturally, I wondered how it could be that in obedience I sacrifice, while I struggle everywhere else. Something didn’t add up. 

And then it occurred to me.  

Sacrifice is born of love.  But often I obey out of fear.  

While there was a time that I questioned the existence of God, for much of my childhood I remember believing that, even when no one was around, someone was watching.  But that wariness about the presence of some other person, whom I assumed was God, was not couched in love.  It was shrouded in fear.  Fear that I would be punished for my behavior.  Fear of being smited by God.  

Sadly, not much has changed since I was five years old.  While I’d love to say that I “behave” myself out of love, that I want to please God and make him proud of my best little efforts down here on earth; the truth is that I fear his disdain more than I seek his pleasure.  

And that mindset is not limited to my spiritual life.  Truth be told I break down in a torrent of tears if I’m ever stopped for speeding, because I fear being judged a bad citizen. A lawbreaker.  In the presence of a police officer (or any other authority figure), I was taught to stand straight, say “yes sir/ma’am” and do whatever I’m told.

Fear isn’t the best reason for obedience. But it works.  According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, imperfect contrition is still contrition (CCC 1453).  Doesn’t it follow that imperfect obedience is still obedience? 

Whatever the motivation, it seems that often in our world today, obedience takes a back seat to autonomy.  Disregard for authority is not only growing among certain circles, but is encouraged by elements of the press, the establishment and the macrocosm of social media outlets; young people today are being particularly influenced by this mindset.

Just turn on the TV and you are bound to see another cop harassed or even killed for doing his job.  Or you’ll hear about the spiking crime rate in the inner cities.  These days a healthy fear of authority (also termed “respect for authority”) is virtually discouraged and authority figures are presumed to be in the wrong in a confrontation unless they can prove otherwise.

We live in a culture where love does not provide much motivation for obedience, because the greatest example of love we witness in the modern world is a love of SELF.  This serves as yet another consequence of secular society – driving God out of the public square left a vacuum that has been filled with SELF-reverence.  I am the captain of my ship; the lord of my castle; the master of my destiny. 

What room does that mindset leave for authority?  

Additionally, while a fear of worldly consequences may provide a slight deterrent (and the jury is out on that one), there is no longer a widespread fear of eternal punishment.  

Those with little or no faith refuse to recognize the authority of God.  As a country, we are paying the price. Unfortunately, there aren’t enough resources in the world to control people who fail to use self-control.  If the system is the only thing standing between me and what I want, I might just go for it, hoping I won’t be caught.  

Within this framework, our Constitutional Republic cannot possibly sustain itself.  

In the 1830s, a Frenchman named Alexis de Tocqueville traveled extensively through the United States, meticulously recording his observations about the success of this great American Experiment.  

He concluded that our democracy worked well specifically because individuals were governed by their religious values, and that these values were an inimitable contributor to our nation’s success:

I sought for the key to the greatness and genius of America in her harbors…; in her fertile fields and boundless forests; in her rich mines and vast world commerce; in her public school system and institutions of learning. I sought for it in her democratic Congress and in her matchless Constitution.

Not until I went into the churches of America and heard her pulpits flame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power.

America is great because America is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.

Both love of country and fear of authority are on the decline in our country; unless we stem the tide, matters will only get worse as time goes on.  

Obedience for love of God or love of country are good.  Certainly a sacrifice of self. While obedience out of fear is also productive, unless we are governed by a fear of God, there is not a police force large enough or powerful enough to control us.  Not to mention the fact that a police state cannot be imposed upon a free republic.  Rule of law in a free society cannot be enforced with tyranny.  It must be freely adhered to by a people that recognizes that this world is not our true home.  

Note: If you like what you just read, please share and/or comment below. Also, please “Follow” to receive future posts promoting the virtue of sacrifice.

Artwork: Photograph of unidentified girl in dress holding an American flag and ball; between 1860 and 1870

When Duty Calls…

This past year may provide many a topic for discussion, as it’s been frought with lessons for me on the meaning of sacrifice, and on the fruit that it can procure within a marriage, within a family.

Almost three years ago I felt called to begin this blog in effort to highlight the profound beauty and sanctifying power inherent in the virtue of sacrifice. I was able to enjoy writing as a means of serving the Body of Christ because my husband was both employed and at times available to help around the house and we were able to make ends meet as a (mostly) one-income family.

In June 2017, my husband’s company dissolved and he was faced with finding a new means of supporting us. After much prayer and discernment, we decided to embark on a path of self-employment, with my husband — who has a Masters in Business and 20 years of corporate experience —  doing a complete 180 and opening a handyman business, where he’s been able to serve others through the many gifts and the strong work ethic he developed while growing up on his family’s dairy farm.

Not long after the establishment of his business, it became very apparent that a small business is by necessity a family business. In addition to the hands-on “service” part, there was scheduling and bookkeeping; there were errands to run and budgets to manage. While my husband worked long hours, my time and energy were in demand as well. In addition to homeschooling our kids and managing the household, I found myself learning new software programs, finding my way around home improvement stores for necessary supplies, organizing receipts and paperwork, befriending new accountants, dealing with regulations, licenses and more. Much more.

Needless to say, writing has taken a backseat to the needs of our family. Due to the general feeling of being stretched beyond our limits at home, I made the difficult decision to leave spiritualdirection.com at the end of 2017, after having moderated their spiritual reading book club for over six years, and also after having published my first book in early 2017 – on spiritual reading – as a result of my wonderful experience there. In April of 2018, I wrote my last post for pelicansbreast.com until now. I realize I never mentioned a peep about any of this to you. Frankly, I kept thinking that any moment, I would be able to return to blogging, so I didn’t feel the need to make an announcement. Before long, one month became two months, and then two became three, and so on. The rest is history.

To all my readers, I apologize for my absence. I have no doubt you understand that my vocation as a wife and mother comes before my desire to “promote” the virtue of sacrifice. But I have missed you. To be honest, this past year may provide many a topic for discussion, as it’s been frought with lessons for me on the meaning of sacrifice, and on the fruit that it can procure within a marriage, within a family. 

No doubt I have been chomping at the bit to return to writing more than you’ve been aching to read what I have to say (There is SO much going on in the world that I hope we can discuss!!!); but regardless, I am happy to be back. For now. I certainly cannot promise that I’ll be consistent, but when I can, I promise to do my best to provide content that is meaningful and hopefully helpful as together we continue on this journey of sacrifice and faithful love, toward our true home, which was won for us by the same.

Sacrifice in the News: Real Love Faces Obstacles – Here’s How One Couple Faces Them

Doctors Told Him to Check His Wife into a Nursing Home; Instead, He Wheeled Her Around the World.

 

Doctors Told Him to Check His Wife into a Nursing Home; Instead, He Wheeled Her Around the World*

Andy

Donna and Andy Fierlit

 

 

 

*Source: CNN.com

 

 

 

Christ comes from Heaven to Host: We Must Meet Him There

He came unto His own—that is, He comes as far as He can—from heaven to the Host, and down to the altar rails. Further He cannot come.  The rest of the way must be ours.

coram sanctissimo

Coram Sanctissimo
by Mother Mary Loyola

X
Neglect

He came unto His own, and His own received Him not.
(John i. II.)

 

How strange it seems, O Lord! For You had been promised so long.  You had been so ardently desired by the best and noblest of our race; so gloriously prefigured, so set forth in prophecy, as to awaken the keenest expectation and enkindle the most glowing love. How was it, then, that Your own received You not?  How is it that even now You come unto Your own and are not welcomed, are not wanted, are left alone, not through the night only—that perhaps was to be expected—but through the long day hours, with Your so-called friends, and the weary and the heavy laden within a stone’s throw of Your door? Ah, Lord, the outrage and the sacrilege that mark the hatred of Your enemies are less to be wondered at, less to be deplored, than the coldness of those You call Your own.  You are not given to complain.  But when along the ages a meek remonstrance does break upon the silence, it is always the same—the protest wrung from You by the desertion of those You love.  “Behold…my familiar friends also are departed from me…My brethren have passed by me”(Job vi).  “Do you now believe?  Behold…you shall be scattered every man to his own, and shall leave Me alone” (John xvi).  How Your Heart felt the desolation of abandonment; how, to speak human language, You feel it still—You made known in that cry of unrequited love, “Behold this Heart which has so loved men and is so little loved by them.”

Who would have thought that God could upbraid so tenderly, or that men could hear such reproach without being touched and won!  If not to make great sacrifices for Him, if not to give up all, at least to go a few steps in order to keep Him company in His loneliness, and sympathise with Him in His sorrows—surely He might have looked for this!

Dearest Lord, one would have expected You to be in such request upon the altar; expected that there would be crowding and crushing in Your presence as in the days of Your earthly life; that we should be seen flocking to You early and late, to show our appreciation of Your love, and to pour out our troubles into Your willing ear.  Where is our faith to leave You thus deserted?  “Do you believe?  Behold you shall be scattered every one to his own, and shall leave Me alone.”

He came unto His own—that is, He comes as far as He can—from heaven to the Host, and down to the altar rails. Further He cannot come.  The rest of the way must be ours. We must meet Him there in Holy Communion, or His loving journey to us will have been in vain.  He will not force our free will.  But He does so want to come.  Shall we disappoint Him? Oh, if our own love will not draw us to Him, at least let us have compassion on His!  If we think ourselves at liberty to deprive ourselves of our communions, surely we are not free to deprive Him of His.

You long, O Lover of my soul, to come to me.  Your delights are to be with me, cold, inhospitable as I am.  Come, then; come, Lord Jesus, and in satisfying Your own desire, enkindle mine.

 

image001

Thank you so much to St. Augustine Academy Press for cooperating with this endeavor! If you are interested in this or other works by Mother Mary Loyola (as well as many other great books for spiritual growth and meditation), please check out their website.You will find many wonderful treasures from which to choose!

 

 

Lord, Come and See!

Come to my heart, this dull cold heart of mine,
All irresponsive to a love divine;
What lacks it to become Thy hallowed shrine?  
Lord, come and see!  

coram sanctissimo

Coram Sanctissimo
by Mother Mary Loyola

IX
Lord, Come and See!

(John xi. 34)

 

Come to my heart as unto Bethl’hem’s grot,
A hovel-home that love despises not:
Can love transform it to a pleasant spot?
Lord, come and see!

Come to my heart as once to Bethany:
A brother’s grave is there, and piteously
Are tears and supplication calling Thee:
Lord, come and see!

How flocked of yore unto Thy blessed feet
The sick, the sad, Thy mercy to entreat!
I too have needs Thy pitying eye to meet:
Lord, come and see!

Come, lay Thy hand upon each leprous stain;
Come with Thy word of might the fiend to chain;
The open festering sore, the hidden pain,
Lord, come and see!

Come to my heart, this dull cold heart of mine,
All irresponsive to a love divine;
What lacks it to become Thy hallowed shrine?
Lord, come and see!

Happier by far than in the olden days
Judea’s glorious Temple—what delays
Its song and sacrifice, its prayer and praise?
Lord, come and see!

Perchance, like Temple Courts, doth sinful stain,
The world’s loud trafficking, the greed of gain
Thy Father’s house, the house of prayer profane:
Lord, come and see!

Come, Holy One, I yield myself to Thee;
E’en scourge in hand, come, Lord and Love, to me.
What change shall make me Thine, Thine utterly?
Lord, come and see!

 

 

 

 

 

image001

Thank you so much to St. Augustine Academy Press for cooperating with this endeavor! If you are interested in this or other works by Mother Mary Loyola (as well as many other great books for spiritual growth and meditation), please check out their website.You will find many wonderful treasures from which to choose!

 

 

%d bloggers like this: