Tag: holy family

Five Ways to Model Your Family after the Holy Family

The Holy Family is the ideal to which all other families should subscribe, if they hope to find joy and fulfillment in this life.

“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” — G.K. Chesterton, The Superstition of Divorce

The family is the cornerstone of all the institutions in the world, and yet has suffered from an unbelievable assault over the past few decades; an assault that has produced The_Holy_Family_-_Francesco_Vanniunfathomable damage, including everything from divorce to elective single parenthood, to lower marriage rates and a new definition so freewheeling and loose that the core identity of the family seems to have been irreparably weakened.

Whether due to circumstance or choice, it is true that families come in all shapes and sizes. However, the Holy Family serves as a model of the family that God intended, and the family that until just a few decades ago, was considered standard form in every social circle. The Holy Family is not the Universal family, for there is no such thing. Rather, the Holy Family stands as the pinnacle of all families throughout the history of the world. The Holy Family is the ideal to which all other families should subscribe, if they hope to find joy and fulfillment in this life.

Families matter. And your family can be an incredible light to the rest of the world. Not by being perfect. By being a family. I speak from personal experience. When I was growing up, God used family after family to inspire me to seek His truth. Again, these weren’t perfect families. But they were families. And I’m willing to bet that not one of them has any idea of the impact their faithfulness had on my life. But it did. Families are beacon to the world of the Light of Christ. And the contribution of the family is critical to society. As Saint John Paul II said in Familiaris Consortio, “The future of the world and of the church passes through the family” (75).

So what better way to affect the future for good than to have a great family?! And where better to seek inspiration than in the Holiest of Families?!

Here are five ways to model your family after the Holy Family:

  1. Be grateful. Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord and my soul rejoices in God my savior…” (Luke 1:46-47). Think about those words every day. We are His handmaids in this family with which He has so blessed us. Rather than think, If only this child would cooperate, or if only my husband would be more patient – thank God for those beautiful, amazing personalities that He has deigned you worthy to serve.
  2. Be joyful. Think of the Joyful mysteries – those mysteries associated with the Holy Family. Mary was overwhelmed with joy when the Holy Spirit overshadowed her and she conceived by the Holy Spirit. St. John the Baptist was overjoyed when he beheld Christ in the womb of Mary, His mother. Heaven and earth rejoiced at the birth of Christ. Simeon was overcome with joy when he held the baby Jesus. And Mary and Joseph were overwhelmed with joy upon finding Jesus in the temple.

    Paul said to the Philippians, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice” (4:4). So rejoice! Your family will love you for it!

  3. Be Absolutely Devoted. From the moment the angel appeared to Joseph and secured his understanding of the situation at hand, Joseph was absolutely devoted to his wife and foster child. He led them to Bethlehem, showing particular care and consideration as he guided his expectant wife to shelter. Shortly thereafter, upon receiving further direction in a dream, he immediately woke his wife and child and led them to safety in Egypt. When the family returned to Nazareth, Joseph devoted his life to quiet, but diligent work in order to serve his family.
  4. Spend Time Together. Jesus, Mary and Joseph were together. Presumably until Joseph died, the three were very much a single unit. In fact, St. Joseph is the Patron of happy deaths; particularly because tradition teaches us that he died in the arms of Mary and Jesus.
  5. Sacrifice. Ultimately, each member of the Holy Family sacrificed his own life for those he loved. Joseph raised a child that wasn’t even his own, while remaining a celibate man for his entire married life. Mary was told from the moment she presented her son at the temple that she would suffer as a result of her motherhood. She didn’t balk. Rather, she loved with a devotion that none of us can fathom. Her seven sorrows were a result of her love, and yet no doubt her love was strengthened in her sorrow. And Christ? Well, in addition to sacrificing his very life for each and every one of us, the God of the Universe lowered himself to the level of a child, and “was obedient” to his parents all the days of his life. If that’s not sacrifice, then I don’t know what is.

The family, as a community of persons, is thus the first human “society.”  — Saint John Paul II, Letter to Families.

Family is sacred. And God is so good that He allowed each of us the privilege of entering the world by way of a family.  Even more, many of us are married and blessed with children of our own. Family is a gift that we must cherish beyond all things. There is no argument that trumps that bond. There is no disagreement, no selfish action, no betrayal, nor any sin that should break that union. Pain and suffering may make it more challenging, but regardless, always cherish that beautiful family you’ve been given the opportunity to love.

 

Note: If you’re not already following the conversation and you like what you just read, please click the “follow” button to the right and don’t forget to comment below! 

 

Artwork: La Santa Famille by Francesco Vanni, 1871

The Unholy Family

Most of us were born into an unholy family. Actually, that family – unholy as it may be – is the best way for each of us to make our way in this world, the greatest vehicle known to man for our sanctification.

What do you get when two fallen people fall in love and commit to spending the rest of their lives together, struggling through this thing called life, climbing, stumbling, and familyclimbing again; pulling each other up when we fall, sometimes tripping over each other along the way?

You get the precious seed of a holy family.

Your marriage may not be perfect. No worries. So long as you remain committed through the ups and downs and ins and outs of your relationship. Because the commitment itself will provide you both with the room you need for that seed to take root and germinate.

Marriage gives love the structure, the shelteredness, the climate in which alone it can grow. Marriage teaches spouses humility and makes them realize that the human person is a very poor lover. Much as we long to love and be loved, we repeatedly fall short and desperately need help. We must bind ourselves through sacred vows so that the bond will grant our love the strength necessary to face the tempest-tossed sea of our human condition. – Dietrich von Hildebrand, Marriage: The Mystery of Faithful Love

And what do you get when those two people give themselves completely -at least to the extent that two fallen human beings can give themselves – to one another in love?

This is when love can produce life, and through this act that delicate greenery breaks the surface of the ground, growing more beautiful by the day through the waters of baptism, the nutrients of love and sacrifice provided daily by the parents, with the light of Christ shining down from above in grace and mercy.

This is when you get a family.

You may be thinking, My family doesn’t come close to that image. When you look at your family, you may be discouraged by what you consider to be an infestation of individualism and idiosyncrasies. No one seems on the same page at the same time and polar opposites can be found in every corner. You may be worried that your family may never blossom.

Yours may not be a holy family.

In fact, yours may be an unholy family.

That’s OK.

Most of us were born into an unholy family. Actually, that family – unholy as it may be – is the best way for each of us to make our way in this world, the greatest vehicle known to man for our sanctification.

The modern writers who have suggested, in a more or less open manner, that the family is a bad institution, have generally confined themselves to suggesting, with much sharpness, bitterness, or pathos, that perhaps the family is not always very congenial. Of course the family is a good institution because it is uncongenial…

…The best way that a man could test his readiness to encounter the common variety of mankind would be to climb down the chimney into any house at random, and get on as well as possible with the people inside. And that is essentially what each one of us did on the day he was born.

This is, indeed, the sublime and special romance of the family. It is romantic because it is a toss-up…

…When we step into the family, by the act of being born, we do step into a world which is incalculable, into a world which has its own laws, into a world which could do without us, into a world that we have not made. In other words, when we step into the family, we step into a fairytale. – G.K. Chesterton, On Certain Modern Writers and the Institution of the Family

But how, given the widely varied personalities involved in a family, the different values and goals, the wild adventures and the unknown outcomes, do we grow holy in that environment? How can we begin to turn in the same direction, linking arms as we walk through this vale of tears, climbing together to the summit of heaven?

We sacrifice.

We serve.

We let go.

We love.

(15) The human family, disunited by sin, is reconstituted in its unity by the redemptive power of the death and Resurrection of Christ.[37] Christian marriage, by participating in the salvific efficacy of this event, constitutes the natural setting in which the human person is introduced into the great family of the Church.

(21) Family communion can only be preserved and perfected through a great spirit of sacrifice. It requires, in fact, a ready and generous openness of each and all to understanding, to forbearance, to pardon, to reconciliation. There is no family that does not know how selfishness, discord, tension and conflict violently attack and at times mortally wound its own communion: hence there arise the many and varied forms of division in family life. But, at the same time, every family is called by the God of peace to have the joyous and renewing experience of “reconciliation,” that is, communion reestablished, unity restored. In particular, participation in the sacrament of Reconciliation and in the banquet of the one Body of Christ offers to the Christian family the grace and the responsibility of overcoming every division and of moving towards the fullness of communion willed by God, responding in this way to the ardent desire of the Lord: “that they may be one.” -Saint John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio 

So we keep working. In our roles as parents, and in our roles as children, we sacrifice. We serve. We let go. We love.

And when we fall, we get back up and we begin again. Through reconciliation.

Through the life-giving love of the sacraments, the nutrients of our daily sacrifice, and by the grace-filled rays of Christ’s mercy, little by little, our families can become holy. That is when that tiny seed, planted in marriage, germinated in love to become a family, will begin to bloom. And the fragrance will intoxicate the world with its beauty.

But for now…

Face it. Your unholy family is the most amazing adventure you’ll ever find in this life. And the more wild the adventure and the higher the mountain you must climb together, the sweeter the victory when you reach the top.

Let us be grateful for our unholy families, and let us pray that we can unite ourselves to His Cross; that the Blood of Christ will wash away our sins, our pain and our tears along the way. Ultimately, may our families experience the joy of a love that is absolutely and completely self-giving, and together may we find the fruit of salvation through the embrace of the cross.

 

 

 

%d bloggers like this: