spirituality – Page 5

The Advent that almost Wasn’t.

Despite our best intentions, by their very force the material obligations of the Christmas season can push the more spiritual Advent activities aside.

Most of us aspire to lofty ideals during Advent:

“O, Lord, I anxiously await your coming and offer all that I am and all that I do for love of You, looking forward with all my heart to uniting myself to You in the celebration of your Incarnation.”

But often we fall somewhere between the ideal and the overwrought, overstressed, if not practical sentiment:

“Lord, could you just hurry up and come already, so we can get back to a regular routine?!”

And yet, who can blame us? Many of us already feel like we’re drowning, barely afloat amidst the trials, tribulations and regulations of every-day family life – getting little Joey to piano, Susie to violin, Harvard to debate practice and – in our case – homeschooling from morning till night, along with meal planning, grocery shopping, housekeeping and more. Then – every year around this time – here comes a great millstone of joy around our necks – otherwise known as Christmas lights strung from here to high heaven, perfectly appointed trees and wall to wall decor, shopping, hospitality, parties, family pictures, cards and letters, never-ending trips to the post office, planning, budgeting, charitable giving, baking and traveling. (Sometimes don’t you just want to curl up in your empty manger and hide from all the demands of boxes, bows and bounty until it’s all over?)

And after all the material traditions are said and done, we’re supposed to do what? Advent wreath? Candles? Special attention to Sacraments? Added Prayer? Sacrifice?

Sadly, despite our best intentions, by the inherent force of their nature, the material obligations of the season often push the more spiritual Advent activities aside. To the point where we look back around Gaudete Sunday and realize that all those candles and Jesse tree ornaments, prayers, extra Masses, rosaries and reflections have been lost along the road of good intentions, somehow caught up and blown away in the wind before we even realized they were gone.

At least that’s what happened to our family this year. And from the looks of all the beautiful houses and the over-the-top parties and show-stopping hospitality – where every dessert is perfection and the air is filled with the scent of pine needles and cranberries – I’m probably not the only one.

It seems that Advent has ceased to be about, well, ADVENT. Yes, it’s still about getting ready for Christmas.But it’s not about getting ready for Christmas. There is no time of year when the contrast between how we look on the outside and how prepared we are on the inside can feel more stark. Sometimes, with all the joy surrounding the exterior, the lack of attention I’ve paid to my interior life is that much more highlighted for me. I begin to wonder if I’m not one of those “whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within they are full of dead man’s bones and all uncleanness” (Matt. 23:27-28). Maybe it’s not that bad; but often it comes pretty close.

This is particularly the time when we should shed all the excess and train our eyes on heaven. On the things that really matter. Instead, every year the celebrations get earlier and earlier; the bar gets higher and higher; the obligations pile on and on.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Unlike Lent, which lends itself to reflection and sacrifice, coming as it does before Spring and at the end of the long, drawn out quiet of winter, Advent is often glossed over by all the demands of the season.

What is the solution? And when I say “solution” I mean “practical solution.” Because chances are, all the obligations are not going to go away. Sure, we can disband everything that is not necessary; but for most of us, many of these traditions are here to stay. Try as we might, we’re still going to have decorations, get-togethers with extended family and friends, family pictures, Christmas cards, shopping and the like.

Yet, Christ is still calling. Whether we listen or not.

In our home, we have always had two Advent traditions. Every morning we read the stories of salvation history and place our special Jesse Tree ornaments on the Tree. Every evening we light a candle on the Advent wreath and read from one of Arnold Ytreeide’s Advent books.

But not this year.

Somehow what we used to think were crazy Christmas schedules for us as a family have multiplied into several crazy Christmas schedules – one for the family, and separate ones for each of our three teens, who all have their own Christmas obligations, whether through school, work, youth groups, or other affiliation. With everyone running around we’ve not been able to schedule “family time” for much of anything. In fact, this year I hadn’t even found our Jesse Tree ornaments until a few days ago. And that was only because I’d had a huge awakening.

On Gaudete Sunday, it occurred to me that Advent is half over. I was shocked to realize that through the first two weeks of Advent, we had yet to light a single candle. My youngest children have had no reference to Advent other than the pink and purple candles sitting front and center in Church, or the words we speak at prayer time or during open discussions around the table. Other than random moments, there has been no effort – organized anyway – to help them prepare their hearts and minds for Christ.

It actually hit me that perhaps we should just give it up this year. Why not just get ready for Christmas and give Advent another try next year? I mean, what else can we do when the demands of the world won’t STOP?

But something about that idea just didn’t feel right. After all, what is all this “stuff” for, anyway? If we give up, aren’t we just releasing the most important if least demanding Person of the season? The One quietly waiting to gain our attention? Can I actually look myself in the mirror if my solution to the busyness of the season is just to put away the Advent candles and save my prayers for less demanding times?

No, I can’t.

So I looked at the calendar. Realizing we still had ten days left, tonight, we took action.

My husband pulled out the wreath and the kids lit the candles. One teen was at work; another was somewhere studying for a test. But four kids sat around the table and gazed at the three candles flickering before them.

Tonight, we spent time reflecting on the story of salvation history. We talked about the creation and the fall; We read about how Christ represents the Second Adam. How Mary is the new Eve. In brief passages, we read about God’s covenant with Noah; with Abraham. We placed our Jesse tree ornaments on the Christmas tree. Not the second tree we normally put in the classroom, but the family tree. And we didn’t read the Advent book we normally read; we focused on the story of salvation. In other words, we changed things up a bit in the interest of time. But that’s OK.

We gathered. And we read together. And those teens who weren’t around? They noticed the Advent wreath on the table when they returned. They may not have been a part of the conversation, but they remained part of the tradition. The reminder brought back all the years they had sat around the Advent wreath. They noticed.

For the next ten days, our family may not STOP. But we are going to PAUSE. If not twice a day, at least once. We’ve found the wreath; we’ve found the ornaments. We’ve made time for the sacrament of Confession. We are moving forward.

Our Advent may be brief. It may not be perfect. It may be missing some piece that would be “just the thing.” But it will be Advent nonetheless.

It will be a PAUSE.

And that PAUSE will matter.

Because that PAUSE will allow us to put all the other “stuff” into perspective. Rather than wait for the “perfect” opportunity to pull out the Advent wreath or the Jesse tree ornaments, we will schedule time each day – the same time. No matter that one family member is at work or another out with friends. Anyone home will be invited to participate. But if we wait for everyone to be ready, we’ll never be ready. If we wait for all the stars to align and the the time to be right, they will never be right.

We’ve lit our candles. And we plan to keep lighting them. Until the moment comes when we get to meet the bridegroom (Matt. 25:1).

The Advent that almost wasn’t…is here.

My Exciting Pre-Announcement and Why You Haven’t Heard From Me Lately!!!

Not merely another book to read, How to Read Your Way to Heaven is designed to be an invaluable tool for guiding and organizing your reading to help you on your journey to become a saint.

Lately I have been off-line. I have had insights and inquiries I wanted to discuss with you; but instead I have used any time on my computer to put the final touches on my latest project. In that regard, and in the interest of the delicate balancing act that is the life of a mother, I have neglected the youngest of my children. Yes, I consider this blog to be my infant child – barely a year old, it has been left to flounder for most of the past two months. Between preparing for holidays and finishing other projects, our conversation about sacrifice has been left on the back burner. Sacrificed, so to speak.

So what’s been taking so much time that I couldn’t spare a minute to check in here and there?

Well, I’m pleased to announce that my first book just went to the printer!!! How to Read Your Way to Heaven is available for pre-order and will be formally released by Sophia Institute Press on January 26th!

That’s right! I’ve spent the last month or two plugging away at small details here and there, hoping to make this a spiritual reading program well worth your time and energy. And, while I am humbled by the opportunity to pull this together, I must say, I do think it has turned out to be quite a valuable resource.

From the back of the book:

Wouldn’t it be great if we really could read our way to heaven?

Many of us commit to some form of spiritual reading, but we find that our book choices are sporadic and often based on a whim rather than following a purposeful plan. Designed for individual or group settings, How to Read Your Way to Heaven will guide your quest to delve deeper into a relationship with Christ by meditating on the written word while organizing your reading around the four pillars of the Catholic Faith – the Creed, the sacraments, morality and prayer.

Not merely another book to read, How to Read Your Way to Heaven is designed to be an invaluable tool for guiding and organizing your reading to help you on your journey to become a saint.

Following this plan, you’ll meditate daily on Sacred Scripture and read the entirety of the Catechism over the course of the program. You’ll be introduced to a treasure trove of the greatest Catholic books ever written, and you’ll learn prayerful reading methods such as lectio divina and find time-tested advice on where and when to read.

A couple of additional notes:

This book is an integrated 1-,3- or 5-year spiritual reading program, complete with a checklist, specific assignments and a magnificent book list that is fully in line with the Magisterium of the Church.
A sample page from the reading program:

Daily assignments include brief readings from Sacred Scripture, the Catechism of the Catholic Church and some of the greatest Catholic books ever written. Readings generally take 15-30 minutes per day, or can be split between two days, if time is limited. The program is completely adaptable to the schedule of each individual reader.
The four pillars of the Catholic Faith as described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church are the foundation on which this reading program is built: What we believe (Profession of Faith); liturgy and the sacraments (Celebration of the Christian Mystery); life of Christ; prayer.
SO excited about this one – We asked Catholics to whom many of us look for wisdom, guidance or support on our spiritual journeys to share their favorite books from each of the four pillars of Faith. Many responded. We have recommendations from Dr. Peter Kreeft, Jennifer Fulwiler, Mike Aquilina, Fr. Mike Schmitz, Fr. Timothy Gallagher, Tim Staples, Trent Horn, Jason Evert and many others. Additionally, we included Fr. C. John McCloskey’s Catholic Lifetime Reading List, which includes over 100 books for your spiritual reading pleasure and enlightenment.
Hundreds of quotes by saints and other great and holy minds are sprinkled throughout the text for your meditation and contemplation on each of the four pillars.
The main text includes the story of my spiritual reading journey as a Catholic convert, including five things I’ve learned about spiritual reading, and why it should play a critical role in our lives as Catholics.

I’m so excited to share this resource with you! I hope you’ll check it out and let me know what you think!!!

So What Have You Been Reading this Summer?

Have you decreased your use of technology and increased your reading? If so, how’s it going and what have you been reading this summer?

Three months ago, I wrote a post about setting aside technology, turning off the television and sitting down with a good book. In that post, I invited you to come back on August 1, and chat about how that’s worked for you and what you’ve been reading this summer.

Well, here we are! Time sure flies, doesn’t it?!

On my end, I did turn off the media. Or at least I tried to avoid it, without deleting my apps or canceling my accounts (sort of like keeping that one credit card…for emergencies). And I was successful. At first. But of course, as a window left open the slightest bit will still allow the rain to seep through, sogging the carpets and rotting the wood, little by little my social media usage trickled back in, stealing my time and interrupting my productivity.

Thankfully I have been able to ward off the assault a good degree, using my time for productive activity, if not always for reading. But then, that’s what mothers do regardless, isn’t it – productive activity?

To be completely honest, I have probably read less so far this summer than I would in the same time period during the school year – summers seem conducive to crazy schedules and lots of driving (And before you recommend books on tape, I’ve done that, but great works like Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume probably don’t count. Or do they?

In the free time I’ve managed to thread amidst all the camps and other activities, I’ve been working on a project. I suppose I can confide in you at this point – I am in the process of wrapping up my first book. Shhhh. This is the first I’m mentioning this publicly, so please keep it on the down-low for now – although your prayers would be much appreciated. The fact of the matter is that suggesting a reading binge was probably pretty foolish of me this summer, considering the deadline for my book is in September. I don’t know when I thought I’d EVER be sitting around this summer.

Prayers, more prayers and fingers crossed – talk is that my book will be published for Lent 2017. What’s it about, you ask? Why, spiritual reading, of course! If you haven’t checked out our spiritual reading book club on spiritualdirection.com – please do! And keep your eyes and ears peeled around the first of the new year – hopefully I’ll have something to offer that will serve you through a lifetime of spiritual reading!

But back to the subject at hand – our Summer of reading…

I must admit I’m a bit embarrassed about my list. Not long. And for the most part not profound. Some of my books are the result of taking pictures of the popular books at Costco and reserving them at the library. That may be the first and last time I try something like that. For those who are interested, here’s what I’ve read thus far:

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah – OK. Not nearly as good as All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (both are novels set in WWII).

Night by Elie Wiesel – Elie Wiesel passsed away in July, prompting me to seek out this book. It was very moving. Sad. Unbelieveable. Unconscionable. And an absolute must-read.

Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll – A lot of crassness (is that a word?). Story got interesting, but I had to work to get there. A few suspenseful moments kept me going. Once I made it past the yuck, I had to finish the book, at which point the “yuck” became almost understandable.

Life of Christ by Archbishop Fulton Sheen; I’m on pg. 386 – still reading this magnificent book for our book club. It may just be one of my favorites. Lots of commentary about the Soviets, socialism and communism. Very apropos today.

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes – Had to read this to see where the author went. Another activist book that paves the way for assisted suicide being considered as compassionate and obvious as the notion of actually saving a life. Very sad. For more commentary on it, see this previous post.

Mother Angelica: Her Grand Silence by Raymond Arroyo – I found this book to be very good. I wrote a post on this one too.

The English Girl by Daniel Silva – I’m reading this now. Not my type of book. I need more literary stimulation. This one is all story and I just can’t get into it.

That’s it. The sum total of my literary adventures of Summer 2016.

Now it’s your turn! Have you decreased your use of technology and increased your reading? If so, how’s it going and what have you been reading this summer?

God bless you!!!!

When Your Family Doesn’t Measure Up

Sometimes I wonder whether God laughs or cries as He watches us taking notes on other families. Does He roll His eyes as He watches us hold onto every off-handed remark that offers any clue about their daily routine, and then shake His head as we rush home to regroup?

Do you spend an inordinate amount of time looking around at other families and trying desperately to figure out how they do it? Do you openly admire your friends, while secretly trying to get a handle on that green-eyed monster that lurks just below the surface?

Are you beside yourself as you try to figure out how it is that other families bear each other’s burdens and have each other’s backs while your kids bicker over the meaning of the word of and would gouge each other’s eyes out rather than build each other up? Does the love and respect other kids show their parents have you in tears as you think about your sassy high schooler with the Jeckyll/Hyde personality? Are you bewildered by the fact that your friends’ children always seem to choose the right path while yours aren’t even on a path?

Sometimes I wonder whether God laughs or cries as He watches us taking notes on other families. Does He roll His eyes as we hold onto every off-handed remark that offers any clue about their daily routine, and then shake His head when we rush home to regroup?

What a great family – What do they do that we don’t do? Ooh – they attend daily Mass. Better add that to our schedule – Check! This family prays the rosary as a family every day – ooh – gotta figure out whether that’s a decade or the whole rosary. Whole rosary – OK! Better add that too – Check! And this other family reads the Bible together every night. (Are there enough hours in a night?) Well, if it will help our family to be more holy, I’m all in – Check! That family is amazing – a seminarian in the family- they have no cell phones and no television. Oooh. Check? Nope – this other family is great too – seminarian and a couple of national merit scholars – and they have both cell phones and television. Good deal! Check!

Sadly, you could emulate every single activity of every family to whom you look for wisdom and insight regarding that amorphous concept of holiness, without ever being able to secure the same results. In fact, you are more likely to wreak greater havoc in your own home by trying to follow the routines of this family or that family, rather than discerning exactly what it is that God asks of your family.

God loves you.

And He loves your children.

He loves your children so much that He loaned them to you – not to that family over there. He placed your children in your care because He knew that you would be the best parent to help your individual children make their way through this life equipped to spend forever with Him in the next. He has great faith in your ability to turn to Him as your guide, and He trusts that by His grace, you are more than capable of preparing your children for the Kingdom of Heaven.

Your children do not need the perfect routine. More than anything, they need you. They need your love. They need your patience. And they need you to live your Faith in a way that best reflects the light of Christ.

Sure there will be tension in the family. Sure there will be difficulties. Just as there are difficulties in each individual human soul. But just as your relationship with God is unique to you, the relationship between God and your family will be unique as well. So don’t look around to see what your neighbors are doing. While it seems like a great idea to seek guidance and example, more often than not it leads to depression and a sense of failure.

How Faith manifests itself in our families will be unique to each and every family, depending on an infinite number of particularities. More than anything else, the soul of the family must be animated by God. Just as He must be at the center of each individual’s life, He must also reign at the core of the family.

Recently, I found a great book about family life, published in 1921. Believe it or not, although it was nearly a century ago, at their core, families back then faced problems not so foreign to the ones we face today. The author offers great insight:

In the home where God is rightly honored, it is realized that children cannot honor God without honoring their parents, and parents will understand that they cannot honor God without respecting each other and living mainly for the children. It is easy to see that with such a spirit animating children and parents, the family circle will truly be “Home, Sweet Home.”

The most beautiful families, like the most beautiful individuals, are too busy living their Faith to look around and measure themselves against their neighbors. They are busy measuring themselves against the only measuring stick there is – Christ Himself. And to the extent that they don’t measure up, they ask for His grace to help them improve:

Of course, every family will have its misunderstandings and annoyances. That is life. There is no escape from it. But the home wherein God is supreme will be able to meet these vicissitudes in a way that will make them a blessing. Some of the homes that I have known were those where affliction had abounded; for the peace and comfort which God knows how to bestow on His own, also abounded there. If you would save the home, therefore, and have it the dearest place on earth, begin by putting it on the foundation of Faith. If after you have done this, the home is not what it should be, it will be exceptional. (emphasis mine)

And for those of us that worry about friction in the home,

We must not forget that we have not here a lasting city, but that we seek one which is to come. A certain worldly man has said that our home is our heaven. Our home may be very dear to us, but the best home will have many annoyances and afflictions to remind us that our true home is not here, but hereafter. – You and Yours: Practical Talks on Home Life, by Martin Jerome Scott, cir. 1921, p. 8-9

Mother Angelica and the Power of Old Age

If you ever wanted to illustrate the beauty and gift of suffering for a friend or family member – or even witness it for yourself in living color – I highly recommend this book. Written in a casual voice that is easy and enjoyable, Arroyo hits home when it comes to relaying, through Mother’s experiences, our close connection with the spiritual world.

On the eve of the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus (that would be last night), I finished reading Raymond Arroyo’s Mother Angelica:Her Grand Silence, his final chapter on the last years of Mother Angelica‘s amazing life. I could have read no better book as a “novena” of sorts leading up to the day of one of my favorite feasts.

Particularly for those who do not “get” the concept of redemptive suffering, this book illustrates the beauty and value of suffering and sacrifice in Mother Angelica’s straightforward and no frills way.

Mother’s story is compelling in its simplicity. The words do not merely relay church teaching, but rather provide an intimate recording of the profound and powerful nature of sacrifice made in the August of life.

Mother Angelica’s personal story will resonate with another mother very close to my heart. My own. She has had some medical issues lately. Nothing life-threatening. But we have been talking a little more about end-of-life-stuff. Of course, there has been a recurring theme throughout our conversations, and she wouldn’t mind if I shared it with you:

My mother does not want to suffer.

Of course, I don’t want to suffer either. And – I’m willing to bet – neither do you. So what’s the big deal, you ask?

Well, my mother has the attitude that she would not want to live if she couldn’t take care of herself (not an uncommon sentiment these days). Extremely independent, she would consider it the worst of all fates if her children or a caregiver had to care for her in her later years. Or if she couldn’t walk or drive or see (she has macular degeneration) or worse.

But Arroyo illustrates, through Mother Angelica’s example, the spiritual power that one can have, particularly because of her physical weakness:

Mother was – spiritually speaking – stronger than iron, and yet she couldn’t stand or feed herself during the last few years of her life. Her final bittersweet act was in some ways a conscious oblation of self. In 2000, following a near-death experience, she shared with me a prayer she had been offering to God: “Lord, I want you to use me in any way you want. I don’t care what it is. Just don’t let me see the fruit.”

For the most part, she wouldn’t see the fruit. But having always considered redemptive suffering a gift, she embraced this last drawn-out trial as she had all those that preceded it. “Whether I am suffering in a physical, mental, or spiritual manner, I resemble Jesus at those moments – and the Father looks at us in our pain and He sees His son in the most beautiful way. That’s what makes you holy. Don’t rebel,” Mother taught. “Our pain only has meaning when we unite it, out of love, to the suffering of Christ. -p. 219

For some people – my mother, for instance – stuffy language and beautiful doctrine crash like a clanging cymbal on deaf ears. But you’ll find none of that here. Only a little lady who, through great faith and hope, united herself completely to the cross of Christ, and took whatever He offered with great grace and humility.

If there’s anyone who could show my mother the value of suffering and the sheer beauty of uniting one’s cross to Christ’s, it’s Mother Angelica. Rather than pour on the schmaltz, Mother told it like it is:

“One of the lessons I’ve learned is that suffering and old age are most precious. You know why? Because at that point in our lives we’re powerful.” p. 185

Arroyo extrapolates:

Mother meant that the elderly and infirm enjoy long hours with God alone, hours to pray and intercede for others. It is a mysterious power, but it is a power nonetheless. Just as their bodies weaken, their spirits are emboldened. As death draws near, fears diminish. So does interest in the material world.

As it happens, this morning while getting ready, I decided for the first time ever to pull up a YouTube video of an old Mother Angelica Live Classics show – this after reading several letters people have written about her impact on their lives, even in her later years when they found re-runs of this nun speaking in her animated and joyful way. Sadly, I’d never watched Mother Angelica when her show was on live. But that will change now that I’ve found the “Classics.”

Surprisingly, I found a video on the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Mother mentions in the video His words to St. Gertrude:

“Whenever you willingly offer yourselves to me, you truly glorify me.”

If anyone ever truly glorified Our Lord, it was Mother Angelica, through her complete offering of self – particularly in the last years of her life. This paradox of power and strength resonating in humility and weakness will convince even the most stubborn skeptic that suffering, when offered in love, can have great merit.

I thought you might enjoy her talk about the Sacred Heart on this special day:

An Open Letter to Engaged Couples

You’ve been dreaming of this day for so long, and now it’s only a heartbeat away. No doubt at least one of you has spent countless hours working out every microscopic detail to ensure that your amazing day is everything you’ve imagined it to be. But while all the particulars have their place, your special day will be gone in the blink of an eye. After that, you will stand hand in hand, looking down the winding road that is your future, ready to travel every step of the way together. “If true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears.”

June will soon be upon us. That means wedding planners are working overtime, brides are getting overwhelmed as they count the days and grooms are looking forward to the honeymoon. Or at least that’s how it was 21 years ago when I got married. Could be that these days grooms are getting overwhelmed and brides are looking forward to the honeymoon (I did hear the term “groomzilla” for the first time this year). Most likely it’s a little of both.

Whatever the case, this letter is for you – the bride and groom. You’ve been dreaming of this day for so long, and now it’s only a heartbeat away. No doubt at least one of you has spent countless hours working out every microscopic detail to ensure that your amazing day is everything you’ve imagined it to be. Perhaps you have Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings DVR’d and your reception hall on speed dial. And if the days leading up to your wedding are anything like ours, you must be up to your veils and bowties in flowers, programs, music and invitations.

But while all the particulars have their place, your special day will be gone in the blink of an eye. After that, you will stand hand in hand, looking down the winding road that is your future, ready to travel every step of the way together.

Your final destination? Heaven.

Whoever said life is about the journey is wrong. Life is about the end game. Your mission in marriage is to lead each other to heaven. And along the way, that winding road may lead you in directions yet foreseen.

Twenty-one years ago when I married my husband, we were excited, joyful and madly in love. Could we have imagined what our lives would bring over the next two decades? Surely I could never have guessed the joys and wonders that would more fully unite us as we were blessed with six amazing children to raise. But intermixed with the joy came job loss, financial strain, the grief of five miscarriages, the death of friends and family members, our crazy spur-of-the-moment decision to homeschool in a world of two incomes (to date we’ve persevered for 14 years), living in four different states, and hanging our hats in seven homes thus far.

But much to my surprise, every challenge has produced increased joy and a stronger commitment to one another. I was surprised because, you see, unlike my husband, I did not grow up with two parents who were married for the entirety of this earthly life. While I had the best of intentions, I had no idea what marriage was supposed to look like. Chances are, at least half of you are in the same spot. It is for you that, in all humility and openness, I’d like to share an experience I had with my husband many years ago, before we were married.

Shortly after our engagement, I was concerned because my then fiancé was not overly affectionate with me. We rarely held hands and we behaved more like close friends than the adoring lovers I’d seen in the movies. I raised the issue with him. Almost pouting, I asked (in all sincerity), “If this is how affectionate we are now, imagine what things are going to be like in twenty years? I mean, this is supposed to be the most romantic and wonderful time of our relationship – when it’s new and exciting! Love only goes downhill from here.”

I can still see the expression he gave me. One of puzzled amusement. His eyes sparkled and his mouth turned up slightly as he took my hand. “Vicki,” he said. “My parents have been married for nearly forty years. They are probably more affectionate now than they have ever been. Now that the kids are grown and they are each other’s sole companion through life. I absolutely guarantee you that they love each other now a thousand times more than they did when they were first engaged.”

He must have seen the doubt in my eyes, because he took my other hand too, before he continued. “Think about it. My parents have raised children together. They’ve watched neighbors experience the tragedy of losing everything they had through the eighties when farming was at its low. They have been through good times and terrible times. They have gotten to know each other’s families in an intimate way so that it’s not just the two of them, but a web of relationships that solidifies their own. They have seen each other at their worst. They have seen each other at their best. They have forty years of memories together, both good and bad. They buried a baby together. They can honestly say that they know each other better than anyone else in the world. That in itself ties them together. I can assure you that my parents are absolutely one hundred percent in love, and they would take their relationship today over their little flirtations forty years ago any day of the week.

I knew, listening to my future husband in that moment, that I was learning something new. Something I’d never heard before, but that was absolutely true. I had been raised to believe that love was about emotion, not experience. That love was about affection and not comfort. But I knew that he was right. I knew that when he married me, his love would only increase over the next forty years. That, in itself, was a lesson I have carried with me through more than twenty years of good times and bad. Through moments where we were so annoyed with each other that I looked forward to his going to work, and I’m sure he looked forward to going. But despite the space we needed to work out our frustrations, we both knew that the tension was only temporary. (Very Important Note: That realization in itself is enough to dissolve most issues before they have a chance to dig in.)

You will love your spouse more over time, not in spite of your problems, but because of them. Because you, too will each know going into this mystery that is Christ’s love, that your commitment is for life. And it is by sharing this life’s struggles that you will help each other to the next.

The greatest means of accomplishing your goal? Without a doubt, remember always that this relationship must find it’s security in the Love of God, Himself. For without God’s grace, the selfishness bubbling within our hearts from the sin of our first parents leaves us helpless to offer ourselves as a perfect sacrifice.

And sacrifice is the key to a happy and long-lasting marriage.

Recently I heard a speaker mention the following exhortation, so I looked it up. Before Vatican II, this exhortation was read at every Catholic wedding. In those days, the priest did not take time in the Mass to offer a homily about the time he’d spent with the bride and groom, or make jokes about marriage preparation. Instead, he read the following. It is straightforward. It is a little scary (note how many times the word sacrifice is used). And it is A LOT beautiful.

Most importantly, it is true.

Exhortation Before Marriage
(All italics mine)

My dear friends: You are about to enter upon a union which is most sacred and most serious. It is most sacred, because established by God himself. By it, he gave to man a share in the greatest work of creation, the work of the continuation of the human race. And in this way he sanctified human love and enabled man and woman to help each other live as children of God, by sharing a common life under his fatherly care. Because God himself is thus its author, marriage is of its very nature a holy institution, requiring of those who enter into it a complete and unreserved giving of self. [But Christ our Lord added to the holiness of marriage an even deeper meaning and a higher beauty. He referred to the love of marriage to describe his own love for his Church, that is, for the people of God whom he redeemed by his own blood. And so he gave to Christians a new vision of what married life ought to be, a life of self- sacrificing love like his own. It is for this reason that his apostle, St. Paul, clearly states that marriage is now and for all time to be considered a great mystery, intimately bound up with the supernatural union of Christ and the Church, which union is also to be its pattern.]

This union, then, is most serious, because it will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate, that it will profoundly influence your whole future, That future, with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows, is hidden from your eyes. You know that these elements are mingled in every life, and are to be expected in your own. And so not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death.

Truly, then, these words are most serious. It is a beautiful tribute to your undoubted faith in each other, that recognizing their full import, you are, nevertheless, so willing and ready to pronounce them. And because these words involve such solemn obligations, it is most fitting that you rest the security of your wedded life upon the great principle of self-sacrifice. And so you begin your married life by the voluntary and complete surrender of your individual lives in the interest of that deeper and wider life which you are to have in common. Henceforth you will belong entirely to each other; you will be one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections. And whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this mutual life, always make them generously. Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy, and perfect love can make it a joy. We are willing to give in proportion as we love. And when love is perfect, the sacrifice is complete. God so loved the world that he gave his only-begotten Son, and the Son so loved us that he gave himself for our salvation. ” Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

No greater blessing can come to your married life than pure conjugal love, loyal and true to the end. May, then, this love with which you join your hands and hearts today never fail, but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on. And if true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears.

The rest is in the hands of God. Nor will God be wanting to your needs, he will pledge you the life-long support of his graces [in the Holy Sacrament which you are now going to receive].

God’s blessings upon you as you embark on this exciting journey together. Decades from now, may you look back on this time in your life and smile at the love you shared today, knowing that it has grown exponentially every day since. I can promise you that life will not always be easy. But in the profound words we just read, if true love and the unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guide your every action, you can expect the greatest measure of earthly happiness that may be allotted to man in this vale of tears.

In Christ,
A Fellow Traveler

Squatter’s Rights and LGBT Movements: How We Allowed Adverse Possession and What We Can do About it

When it comes to our relationship with the LGBT community, our efforts to refrain from making waves and avoid being labeled bigots have wrought (or at the very least contributed to) unimaginable cultural losses that may effect the world for generations to come.

Americans are livid. The Obama administration has taken the transgender bathroom issue by storm, issuing a
directive via the Departments of Justice and Education to all public school districts across the country, warning officials that transgender students should be allowed to use the restroom or locker room of the gender with which they identify, as opposed to their “sex assigned at birth” (their language, not mine) – or risk having the federal government withhold school funding. And by the way, making separate facilities available doesn’t count.

This is what happens, ladies and gentlemen, when we fail to stand up and declare the truth. When we sit back in fear of confrontation and refuse to speak the truth in love, we risk being violently overtaken in the public square.

In the world of pubic opinion, the faithful have completely lost the argument. But worse, when it counted, few of us showed up. Do you know what we have done? We have allowed something that in the real estate business is called adverse possession, otherwise known by the somewhat crass if visually descriptive term, squatter’s rights.

Let me explain. Say your neighbor lets you know he’s going to build a six foot fence around his property. In an act of good will, you give him your blessing and compliment his choice of building materials. A few days after he begins building, you notice that he has crossed the property line by a few feet. You know this because when you moved in several years ago, the lots were staked out, and you measured ten feet from the lot line so you could plant your garden. It’s not terrible, but you measure, and sure enough, your garden fence is only seven feet from your neighbor’s new construct. You’re in a tough spot. You don’t want to cause any friction or offend your neighbor, who has already begun building. In the end, rather than risk stirring up bad feelings, you let it go.

The problem is that you have not simply allowed your neighbor to build on your property. Five years later, when he moves, he will lay claim to that additional three feet. He will be hard pressed to believe he stepped out of bounds at that point, and the courts will agree. Unbeknownst to you, by your silence, you have ceded part of your property to your neighbor.

As Christians, we tend to be compassionate (contrary to the image we’ve been given in recent years). We know we are called to love. So rather than risk offending anyone, we let things go. After all, the entire LGBT community was comprised of a mere 2-3% of the population. There was a time when many of us didn’t even know someone who was gay or transgender, so we stayed out of the conversation. And if we did know someone, we knew they were good people and meant no harm to anyone – so we stayed silent.

In fact, if we did speak up, many of us (correctly) supported individuals who were mistreated in the name of sexual orientation, advocating love of neighbor as one of the greatest commandments. We thought, correctly, all human beings are deserving of respect (CCC 1700). But we held our tongues regarding the teaching of the Church on human sexuality. After all, we thought, who am I to tell others how to live? What they do in their own homes is between them and God.

And that’s where we went wrong.

The fact is, average Americans have never wanted to address the moral argument. Because – hey – that would be judging. But by keeping the argument on purely legal terms – definition of marriage, a child’s right to two parents, and now, discomfort in the restroom – we have subtlety communicated that we didn’t believe the lifestyles of the LGBT community were immoral; we just didn’t want them to affect our way of life. (Because, after all, everyone knows the “greatest” commandment has become, “thou shalt not impose your morality on your neighbor.“)

Having failed to reasonably discuss the possibility that these individuals who are seeking equal status should actually be seeking help (it took me forever to type those words – I have been avoiding the discussion too), we have allowed enough time to pass that we have unwittingly allowed the LGBT community to advocate its position to the point that now, anyone who argues that there may be “disorder” involved with being gay or transgender is a bigot. Uneducated. A hater.

Cultural Shift

While we were hemming and hawing over how to avoid giving offense, the LGBT community has been busy making great inroads in the public square. In as little as 15 years, public opinion has done a complete 180. For example, in 2001, 57% of people in the general public opposed gay marriage. Today, even 58% of Catholics support it.

My goodness, the left has been completely indoctrinating the young right under our noses – using our tax dollars, no less! They have even convinced them that there is no such thing as truth (moral or even physical – watch this and this), while all this time we have been pussyfooting around, trying to find the courage to declare it.

Transgender rights are just the latest in a stream of efforts to overturn any semblance of traditional values. Pressure has been mounting at a steep rate. An issue that was little known six months ago has suddenly become a matter of civil rights. To say the trend is disturbing is an understatement. Just a couple of weeks ago (as mentioned in a previous post), an employee of a Catholic university was under investigation for a hate crime after stating that there are two genders.

When the state of North Carolina took a preemptive step in declaring by law that one must use the restroom of his biological gender (something that used to be common sense), the transgender bathroom issue came to a head. Outrage against the state has been palpable.

Then the federal government dove into the controversy, invoking Title 9 and involving the courts. North Carolina fought back. Livid, Obama, sensing a changing tide in public opinion, has thrown down the gauntlet, not only against North Carolina, but daring any state in the country to initiate similar legislation. In a massive overstep of intimidation, the administration has now drawn the big guns, using the power of the purse to threaten schools across the country.

So what now?

I read a quote recently that captures the current pulse of America today:

“Evil preaches tolerance until it is dominant, then it tries to silence good.” — Archbishop Charles J. Chaput

So what can we do about it?

After we collectively pick our jaws off the floor, having been stunned by the sheer audacity of the federal government telling us that our daughters must share locker rooms with boys of the opposite sex, we must go back to the beginning.

The Church is first and foremost a mother and a teacher. A loving mother has compassion for her children. But it is out of that compassion that she teaches them the truth. We must, as Christ’s body, the Church, teach the truth about human sexuality.

In order to teach, we must be informed. It is not enough to know that God has a plan for marriage. For the family. As Catholics, we must know that plan. We must be able to articulate that plan.

We must live out that plan.

Truth is undeniable when light shines upon it.

There is nothing better to display the truth in an excellent light, than a clear and simple statement of facts. – Saint Benedict

Get Educated

Here are some resources that I plan to learn inside and out. Study them and see if they help you to better articulate a simple statement of facts:

The Catechism
Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla (now Saint John Paul II) – what is truly meant by human sexuality
Familiaris Consortio by Saint John Paul II – because what is most at stake in this discussion is the human family, which is the foundation of all of society
Man, Woman, and the Meaning of Love: God’s Plan for Love, Marriage, Intimacy, and the Family by Dietrich von Hildebrand
Men, Women and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility by Edward Sri
Address to Roman Curia by Pope Benedict XVI, specifically addressing the dangers of the gender identity movement (and also commentary on it)
Catholic Answers Resources:
– Video: How do We Relate to People who Struggle with Sexual Identity
– Article: Five Questions for Supporters of Gender Transitioning
– Article: Bathroom Bill is Not Hateful Bigotry

7. Popes and Catechism on Gender Theory

[Note: If you have other recommendations that are in line with the Magisterium, please offer them in the Comments section.]

What You Can Do Today

In the meantime, now is the time to take civil action. Force yourself to leave your comfort zone, step off the sidelines and get involved. Write your governors, senators, representatives, school boards, and anyone else of consequence, encouraging them to stand up to the administration. Texas and Arkansas have already said they refuse to comply. In a profound statement, Lt. Governor Dan Patrick of Texas asserted, “We will not be blackmailed by the president’s 30 pieces of silver.”

There is hope that a groundswell of public opinion summarily rejecting the administration’s reach will prove fruitful. Encourage your state not to give into political correctness.

[Note: If you have other ideas for civic action, please recommend them in the Comments section.]

Mother: The Most Beautiful Word

Is there anyone who can look forward to the Last Judgement with more confidence than a mother? The crown of eternal glory is awaiting her.

Inspiration from Cardinal Mindszenty’s beautiful work, The Mother:

The Most Beautiful Word

A number of children are tired of their game. They want to learn a new game. So they decide on this. “Everyone must try to find the most beautiful word in the world,” one suggests and continues: “When father comes home he will decide who has found it.” All agree.

Both boys and girls take pencil to paper, look for a quiet corner where no one can see what they write. They think and ponder and finally put down the chosen word. After the evening meal, father is to make the final decision. After a pause he says: “The most beautiful word is mother.” The little seven-year-old boy has won.

Tell me can you find a word,
replete with music and sound,
adorned with legend and song,
full of smiles and tear drops,
wrought of treasures and fine pearls,
bright with sun rays and moonbeams,
that reflects the sea, with the scent of roses,
yet full of tearful yearning and longing,
search the world, ne’er will you find another
word, as precious, fine and pure as, “mother.”
(Vitnyedi Nemeth Istvan)

This word has its own special sound in every language. It weeps and laments like a distant magic trumpet, it rejoices like the small golden bells in the chimes, and when we pronounce this word our heart is on our lips. There is in it the laughter of childhood, even when spoken by an old man. Is there a creature to whom we are bound more intimately, heart and soul, than mother? Is there another word that can move us more deeply? The longer we live, the more the world unfolds before us, the more we are overcome with the wonder of motherhood. The more we learn about life, the more beautiful and more replete with meaning is the word “Mother.” What is mother?

Thou art the source from which I sprang
Thou art the root from which I grew.
Thou, O mother, art the threshold
Over which I passed into life.
(Bisztray Gyula)

The mother – so I read – is the fire, the children are the light. By the brightness of the light, we know how great is the fire.

The mother is the vine, the children the branches. By the branches we judge the value of the vine.

The mother is the tree of life, the children the fruit. The Savior said: “By their fruits you shall know them.”

The mother is the clock, the children the hands. They point out the time.

The mother is the pen, the children the script. By the writing you recognize the writer.

The mother is the rudder, the children the boat. The boat goes wherever the rudder directs.

The mother is the queen, the children the subjects. Under the scepter of a wise mother, the children are satisfied and happy.

The mother is the great enigma and mystery. the happiness of mankind, the sufferings of mankind vibrate and tremble in that one word, Mother.

[Blessed is the Merciful Mother]

…Is there anyone who can look forward to the Last Judgement with more confidence than a mother? The crown of eternal glory is awaiting her. St. Paul, speaking of woman, says: “She shall be saved through childbearing.” 1 Tim. II, 15. Motherhood is not limited only to giving life of the body to the child; the mother also gives her child the life of the soul, by leading it to God and to Christ. She again becomes its mother by unfolding before her child’s mind the wonders of existence.

In the blessedness promised by St. Paul, we seem to hear the blessedness promised by Our Lord in his sermon on the mount when He said: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall find mercy.” The hands of mother have brought music as from the registers of an organ, by all the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. She fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, clothed the poor, housed the stranger, visited and tended the sick. She admonished the sinner, counseled the doubtful, instructed the ignorant, consoled the sorrowful, was patient with the foolish and was incessant in prayer for the living and the dead.

The mother is God’s co-worker, the first and the best apostle of the Church. She is a ray of light from the Mother of Mercy.

“Mama’s beauty never dies”…and life on earth will be beautiful as long as there beats a mother’s heart.

– Passages above were borrowed from The Mother, by Cardinal Mindszenty.

Rekindling a Romance with Reading

Yes, FB keeps me informed about how to keep my kids from becoming bullies or on the five things I should be doing every day as a Catholic, but Father Lovasik’s Hidden Power of Kindness has had a much greater impact. And Intro to the Devout Life has resonated with more profound meaning. Yes, there are blogs I like to follow – and of course, I write for two of them – but truth be told, the majority of my time on social media is spent scrolling through headlines. All in all, much of it has been a mindless waste of time.

Recently, I found a sheet of paper in an old file cabinet when I was cleaning. On it was a list of books I read in 1999. This was before children when I was meticulous enough to keep track of things like that. Without giving numbers let’s just say that the list was probably five times the length I might accumulate this year, based on my current pace – And yet I still love to read!

Or so I say…

I do believe there’s something to be said for a great story. But these days, those stories are more often found under the auspices of theater, television, or YouTube videos. Wherever you look, more and more information is being transmitted via video. And I have to confess to breathing a sigh of relief when I open a post to find a three minute video rather than a 1,000 words. It’s so much easier to watch than to read! That said, even when we find a topic interesting enough to warrant actually reading an article, studies show that we tend to skim headlines and highlights rather than read word for word. Apparently we’re more interested in getting the main idea than grasping the details.

Our ability to read with any semblance of focus and comprehension has deteriorated significantly with the advent of smart technology. One need only review standardized test scores to understand the consequences to our children’s educations.

I recently saw a headline from The Washington Post that read SAT Reading Scores Drop to Lowest point in Four Decades. ACT Scores have dropped as well, particularly in the Reading and English sections. While schools have increased the time and resources spent in the areas of Science and Math, a focused effort on reading skills – something arguably necessary for a basic standard of living – has been lacking. But we can’t entirely blame the schools. After all, reading is a skill honed by practice. Who’s practicing anymore?

I don’t know about your teens, but mine used to read all the time – right up until they had access to iPods, iPads and iPhones. I am embarrassed to admit what little time any of them has recently spent delving into books that weren’t required reading.

It was bad enough when television was the distraction. But now it’s like we are in a candy store of stimulation 24-hours-a-day. Wherever we turn, there is something to watch. In this environment, it can be difficult to pull our eyes away from all the glitter and glitz for a pastime that requires anything resembling effort.

Speaking for myself, I’ll be the first to admit that my phone has seriously cramped my reading time. As a mother my reading has always been done in five to ten minute increments. But you can’t get more convenient than a smart phone to kill time in small increments. So much for reading. No matter where I am, if I’m looking for a little intellectual stimulation, my phone is all I need. In a split second I can check unread email, pop into my FB feed or Twitter, my news app, Pinterest – there are unlimited things one can find to do on a little phone in the brief span of time it takes to wait in line at the grocery store.

While I’ve never had a lot of focused time to devote to reading, those small increments add up. In the past, busy or not, I could usually get through at least a book or two every month. As I think about all the accumulated moments I spend on my various social media feeds these days I am sick at all the time I’ve wasted. Reading a good book is a calming and relaxing experience that builds the reader both intellectually and spiritually. Reading about current events tends to build nothing but anxiety.

Yes, FB might keep me informed about how to keep my kids from becoming bullies or on the five things I should be doing every day as a Catholic (two posts I glanced through today), but Father Lovasik’s Hidden Power of Kindness has had a much greater impact. And Intro to the Devout Life resonated with more profound meaning. Yes, there are blogs I like to follow – and of course, I write for two of them – but truth be told, the majority of my time on social media is spent scrolling through headlines. All in all, much of it has been a mindless waste of time.

It will be difficult, but I am going to challenge myself to set my phone aside in favor of reacquainting myself with a good habit. Reading.

Summer is coming. Perhaps you’d like to join me in this endeavor? Let’s see what we can do between now and August – when all the fall activities begin. That gives us about 100 days to focus on reading and 100 days to put social media on the back burner. Maybe not altogether, but why not place it further down the priority list?

There is no question this will be a sacrifice. My phone has become like an extra appendage. I can only imagine how difficult it will be to break the habit of turning to it every time I have a minute to spare. But I’m going to give it a shot! How about you? Come on! Let’s dispense with making our phones a primary source of entertainment in favor of something better (Or perhaps for you the problem is TV or a computer?).

What to read? Grab a spiritual reading book. If you’re looking for a book club, hop on over to spiritualdirection.com and join us – we just started reading Life of Christ and it’s already amazing!!

Mark your calendars for Monday, August 1, 2016 – let’s meet here on that date and chat about what we’ve read and whether we’ve made a change for the better!

Happy Reading!

Three Books and a Revelation: What Ayn Rand Got Wrong

There is no love without sacrifice. And in a political system, sacrifice without love becomes a distorted perversion of the sacred, used by the few to control the many.

Book Number One

Not too long ago, I read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand for the first time. A heroin of many conservatives, Rand wrote Atlas Shrugged specifically to demonstrate the foolishness of any political system where the means of production are managed by the state. As a freedom-loving, American capitalist, I have to say that through most of it I was riveted and cheering Rand on as she masterfully illustrated that capitalism is by far the best economic and political system around. It’s not that I thought her book was perfect, but she definitely made her point.

A staunch advocate for capitalism, Rand, herself, escaped communism as a young adult and was determined never to return. Her mission as a writer was to decry the evils of government control and to extol the virtues of capitalism as well as the importance of individual freedom. Having experienced the former in the early 1900’s – she was a high school student in Russia during the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 – Rand considered the resulting state power to be absolute evil.

Lately it seems the political climate in the United States is not completely alien from that of Russia in the early twentieth century. Governmental corruption is rampant, as is the inefficiency of the huge bureaucracy which is the federal government. Like the Russians on the cusp of 1917, Americans are war weary and there has been great unrest regarding a lack of opportunity, low wages and disparate conditions.

Over the last eight years these problems seem to have intensified and multiplied or, if nothing else, have been magnified to the nth degree. Issues of race, creed and economic disparity are more paramount today than at any time since the Civil Rights Movement reached its height in the 50’s and 60’s. Daily demonstrations receive massive media attention. Just this week over 400 protesters were arrested at the capital building – civil disobedience is on the rise and tensions are high.

Needless to say, in this climate a shout-out for capitalism in the form of a novel was for me a light in the darkness. A herald to a truth that has been rabidly twisted and distorted over the past generation. Particularly in our country, as concerned citizens seek answers to the problems they witness all around them. Many, especially the young, are willing to try an alternative to the capitalism they’ve long been taught is the source of our deepest cultural and economic problems.

So roughly 800 pages into it, I was all-in for a book illustrating the virtues of capitalism. And then I reached the last, roughly 70 pages. This was where things got crazy, as Rand presents the reader with a complete diatribe of her belief system through a speech given by one of the main characters of the book. During that speech, Rand (through the voice of John Galt) throws religion out with big government.

“Selfishness – say both – is man’s evil. Man’s good – say both – is to give up his personal desires, to deny himself, renounce himself, surrender; man’s good is to negate the life he lives. Sacrifice – cry both – is the essence of morality, the highest virtue within man’s reach…

…”It is your mind that they want you to surrender – all those who preach the creed of sacrifice, whatever their tags or their motives, whether they promise you another life in heaven or a full stomach on this earth.”

Whoa!! So this is why I’d vaguely remembered hearing that Rand’s views are not compatible with the Catholic church. Religion is nothing like communism or socialism. While those systems strive to serve the lowest common denominator by denouncing individual aspirations and self-determination, our Faith asks that we take advantage of our God-given freedom to serve all with love – through our own will, not by mandate. Being asked to serve by our Heavenly Father is not at all comparable to being obligated by law. When I reached the end of the book, I was deeply disturbed that after 800 pages of getting it (for the most part) right, Rand could end on such a horribly depraved note.

But shortly after reading Atlas Shrugged, I realized that Rand’s distorted view of religion had germinated through seeds of deception planted in the poisonous soil of her youth. A riveting book about the lives of citizens in North Korea both helped me to understand Rand’s confusion, and spurred some of my own.

Book Number Two

The book was Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea. Written by a journalist who captured in minute detail the day to day lives of six North Korean citizens who eventually escaped to freedom in South Korea, the book illustrates the horrid conditions of many in a country that strains to present itself as a utopian society. Ordinary citizens watched loved ones tortured and killed. They ate rats in order to stay alive. Daily lives were nightmares from which citizens could find no escape. Oppressed and desperate, each of these individuals risked life and limb just to get out from under the incredible burden of communism.

The most disturbing and discomforting part of this book was the sacrifice lauded by the government. The talk from their leaders sounded startlingly familiar. These were the themes I hear in Mass every Sunday. That I read in Sacred Scripture every day. They were the profound ideals offered by the saints that have gone before us. Here’s just one small example of the themes saturating North Korean culture through the hand of their omnipotent leader:

Every town in North Korea, no matter how small, has a movie theater, thanks to Kim Jong-il’s conviction that film is an indispensable tool for instilling loyalty in the masses…The films were mostly dramas with the same themes: The path to happiness was self-sacrifice and suppression of the individual for the good of the collective. (emphasis mine)

Sacrifice? Suppression of self? These are things I’d read for years in the great classics of our Faith. This is what we teach our children. And yet, these sentiments came from an evil, communist dictator. As someone who escaped the USSR, no wonder Ayn Rand did not believe in God. If USSR was anything like North Korea, the government presented itself as a god-like figure. Trusting in THE God would become a an almost insurmountable hurdle once a counterfeit had been exposed for the corrupt, self-serving charlatan that he is. There could be no greater impediment to faith in the One True God than the fraudulent benevolence claimed by the powers that be in those godforsaken countries.

I must admit. When I finished Nothing to Envy, I was perplexed. I was confused. While I didn’t doubt the existence of God, I did wonder how something so good and something so terribly evil could sound so similar? What was I missing?

Book Number Three

Enter Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen (which we just began reading in our book club at spiritual direction.com – check it out). In the first couple of pages, Sheen addresses this very subject. In a few sentences he brings clarity to my confusion. His comments illustrate the error inherent in Rand’s philosophy:

“Communism has chosen the Cross in the sense that it has brought back to an egotistic world a sense of discipline, self-abnegation, surrender, hard work, study, and dedication to supra individual goals. But the Cross without Christ is sacrifice without love. Hence, Communism has produced a society that is authoritarian, cruel, oppressive of human freedom, filled with concentration camps, firing squads, and brain-washings.” – Fulton Sheen, Life of Christ (p. xxv)

There is no love without sacrifice. But in a political system, sacrifice without love becomes a distorted perversion of the sacred, used by the few to control the many. No version of this is the solution to our nation’s problems. True love offered as true sacrifice is the only real solution to what ails us. And it cannot be found in any law, mandate or government system.

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Cultural Shift

So what now?

Get Educated

What You Can Do Today

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The Most Beautiful Word

[Blessed is the Merciful Mother]

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Book Number One

Book Number Two

Book Number Three

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